Back and Better
I have missed everyone! I took a little break from the posts, more like lost motivation but I am back and plan to be better with my consistency. I believe the last time we gathered was when Kingston had an ear infection and I cut my own bangs…Ironic enough Kingston has been messing with his ear again so I’m praying he isn’t getting another ear infection. As for the bangs I stopped caring for them. If you read my last post I was excited to wake up early and do my hair before king woke up to help me feel put together throughout the day. Did I do that? Not even once. I would love to know how y’all are staying motivated to wake up early. Maybe it’s a discipline issue. Speaking of discipline, wait wait wait. I forgot the most important part of our gathering! What are we sipping on tonight?? I just got a new wine to try last night, Z. Alexander Brown- Uncaged Cabernet Sauvignon. Personally one of my favorite red wines that I’ve had so far. Not to dry and a little on the sweeter side IN MY OPINION… I know someone who disagrees lol. If you’ve ever tried it let me know what you think and let me know what you are sipping on tonight, or any drink recommendations you may have!
Changing it Up
Instead of sitting down Saturday night and writing a full blog that’ll be posted on Sunday – eventually causing me to burnout. I’ll start taking time throughout the week to make updates. Then come Saturday night, make my edits, add my final touches, and then post it around eleven pm. That way Sunday it’ll be ready for you – my sweet ones – to take time whenever you see fit. I’ll be on throughout the day to check comments but I’ll be taking my moment of peace to really sit down and respond around eight o’clock on Sunday evening with my drink of choice. Aside from the logistics lets talk about my newest hobby! If you’re not interested in fish keeping go ahead and skip this section, I’d hate to spend your time talking about my hobby!
Fish keeping – Back and Betta
I’m not saying the ordinary get a fish tank, add some rocks, and funky decor fish keeping. My newest hobby is aquascaping. When I was younger my mom had gotten my brother and I both a Betta fish. They lived good lives but knowing what I know now, they could have lived a better one. I also had a Betta in high school, I thought I gave him the coolest tank it was all black gravel with pops of neon rocks here and there, a color changing light, a skull hideaway and his name was the coolest part of it all. Pond, James Pond. My good friend clowned me about it, but that’s because she never watched the movies, and I know she’ll be reading this so let her know in the comments that she should watch the series. Now, although James Pond lived a decent life, those super cool features were only cool to me. They had no enrichment for him. I was thinking about all of this when I decided to do it right in his honor. To stay on theme here i’m a fish keeper again.. but back and better! Bettas need at least five gallon tanks despite being kept in those tiny little cups. Ten gallons is even better so that’s what I got. ( I actually went with a five gallon because the idea of ten gallons seemed scary but they were out of five so I took it as a sign from Pond to go all out. I have watched many YouTube videos and read a couple articles to ensure I could give my next Betta a life full of happiness. For starters those fancy gravel rocks look awesome but they are actually terrible for Bettas because Bettas have fragile skin/ fins. Truthfully they aren’t good for any fish, the paint on them can often leak into the water not to mention you wouldn’t find those rocks in their natural habitat. In replacement of those rocks I used something called substrate. Not only is substrate kinder on the fish this is also what will help your plants grow. Oh I forgot to mention, the artificial plants and decor you see at pet shops also suck for Bettas. They can easily cut their fins on those things. They may be a little safer for other fish but again, you wouldn’t find artificial plants in their natural habitat. Try to give your fish a home similar to their true home. Anyways a substrate! This is going to pose as an underwater soil where your live aquatic plants can root. Some people don’t like the color of the substrate ( usually black) so they add sand over it. This also helps if you have fish that like to “dig” because it protects the plants from being uprooted. Now that we have covered the base of the tank let’s talk plants and decor.
Live Aquatic Plants
Above are the plants I currently have in my tank. Pothos is actually not an aquatic plant, however you can put it inside your fish tank. Many plants can be kept alive by water only, no soil. Known as Hydroponics. If you ever have trouble growing plants in soil because you over or under water, give Hydroponics a try before you dismiss your green thumb. I added pothos to my tank for two reasons. One, fish tanks have something called nitrates, they are harmful for fish in high levels. No tank is a complete zero level for nitrates but many people have claimed they have had a level zero thanks to their pothos. Pothos are great at sucking up the nitrates within the tank, and in return the fish water is a great natural fertilizer. Which leads me into my second reason for adding pothos to my tank. I love plants but sometimes I can forget to water them. Using hydroponics to keep my plants alive is a big help. My tank is like a really big vase for my pothos and since there is a filter I don’t have to worry about my plant sitting in stagnant water. Now the rest of the plants you see above are all aquatic plants. I am still learning about these types of plants but what I know for now is Dwarf Hairgrass is great for bottom coverage. It’s name speaks for itself, it’ll basically cover the base of the tank just like our grass would. Although it can take some time to grow. Next up, Java Fern. This plant is another slow grower, but perfect for Bettas. It provides large open leaves that bettas could rest on, and it provides a good hiding spot. Our most promising plant for Bettas and for fish tanks In general is Anubias. I have Anubias nana and the reason these are the most promising is they are good in low light conditions, can survive rocky water levels and are slow growers. Slow growers are great for beginner tanks because you can focus more on your fish life rather than maintaining your plant coverage. Then we have the Moss ball. So I don’t have a Moss ball but I do have a coconut shell covered in Moss because I plan on getting shrimp eventually and they love things like that. Moss is another great plant for rest. You can glue( using aquarium safe glue) Moss to almost anything in your tank to provide a cushioned spot for your Betta to relax on. That pretty much sums up all the plants I have, there are so many more out there that you can do your research on or keep coming back here i’m sure I’ll be making another post about my shrimp and new plants when the time comes. But the possibilities are endless..kind of. As for decor, now that is when the possibilities are endless, all i have right now is a piece of drift wood, and some small rocks. I’ve seen people create full on cities in their tank using rocks and drift wood and other appropriate tank safe items. Run with the wind in that department. I don’t want to make this whole post about fish keeping especially in case some of you couldn’t care less so I’ll end this here. Maybe I’ll make another post or video in the future going into it all for those that are curious but for now lets jump ship.
Teaching Discipline
I had a lot of time to ponder this week. Sean had overnight work from 10pm-6am two nights in a row so that was two nights that I could have snuggled up in my bed with my new adopted cat ( we’ll get to that) and watched chick flicks. Don’t get me wrong I snuggled up a bit but really the first night I spent cleaning our bedroom. We had to get two new dressers so our room looked like the backroom of a goodwill for the better half of January. I’ve also been trying to create a content corner in the bedroom. I’ll definitely have to post a photo of the finished results, maybe, hopefully, next Sunday. Its coming together nicely. Alright back to the pondering. I’ve had ample time to ponder what I want this year to look like. 2026 is the year of discipline for me. I follow so many people who give tips on weight loss, financial stress, it girl aesthetic, but the one thing no one can teach you is discipline. You have to want to be disciplined, and you have to be the one to teach yourself how to have it. I have all the tools and knowledge to change my life for the better but without discipline what do those tools really do for me? I want to post every Sunday for you guys. I want to have a very strict morning routine. How will I make sure it actually happens? For starters baby steps, I already said sitting down for 15-20 minutes A DAY is way easier than sitting down for hours one night of the week. That’s how I plan on accomplishing my weekly blog post. As for morning routines, maybe strict looks like waking up at five, making my bed and then sitting in bed until Kingston wakes up. Eventually those baby steps will turn into muscle memory, then I can add more steps. If you take anything from this post let it be this. The first hour of your morning sets the tone for the next 10. Make the most of your morning sweet ones, the rest of your day will follow suit, and eventually you’ll find yourself having better days. Especially during these colder months when the lack of vitamin D and depression gains on us. I believe in you, you got this!
Hibernation
Disclaimer: This post contains personal reflections related to eating disorders, body dysmorphia and depression. Please read only if you feel safe to do so. There is no pressure to continue. 🤍
Despite being back and better I have been hibernating from the kitchen. I even put AlDough(sourdough starter) in hibernation, aka the fridge. I’m not totally sure what came over me but I have some ideas. I think for starters the seasonal blues have been getting to me. This might be the first time I’m actually acknowledging it honestly. I haven’t necessarily been able to sit with my emotions since becoming a mom. I know that I can’t lay in bed all day and be sad or angry because I have a little one to wake up with who wakes up excited for his day not a worry in the world. I think my depression knows that too. So it’s learned to attack me in a different way. Before, I lost motivation to leave bed, now I lose motivation to do the things that I want to do for myself. Not for Kingston or Sean, but for Destiny. Like cooking, content, blogging, and bread making. These are some of the things that I like to do that bring me joy, and allow me to dedicate time for myself outside of being a mother and a girlfriend. I’ve come to the realization… just now talking to you… that I haven’t been doing any of those things. I thought I just lost motivation and haven’t had time. Long behold the truth is, that is my seasonal depression’s way of attacking me. Although it is pretty annoying, I guess I’m grateful it’s not making me lose motivation to get out of bed and be a parent. Another reason I haven’t been in the kitchen is because my weight has been weighing on me…literally. I feel like every year since I was seven my new years resolution was to lose weight, be skinny, eat healthy, and work out. I spent so many summers looking for medications online for weight loss, and drinking crazy drinks that “burn fat” as a kid. Thank God I couldn’t swallow pills to save my life because I ended up buying these pills online for weight loss and who knows what they truly were. They came in a white no label bottle. I wanted so badly to take them and show up to school after summer looking snatched but like I said I had this fear of swallowing pills, I literally could not do it. I love my father but I do have to give him credit for giving me an eating disorder. He often commented on my weight, my eating, and sometimes it wouldn’t be targeted to me per say but himself. For example “oh I cant keep eating like this I’m so tired of being fat.” Right after we would eat the same exact meal. Obviously he struggles with his own body dysmorphia and I feel for him. My dad and I both cope with emotions through eating. Had a bad day? A nice meal could make it better. So again 16 years later, the same new year’s resolution. I don’t want to keep having an unhealthy relationship with food. I don’t want to keep looking at myself and hate what I see. I want to make the Seven year old me proud. So I’ve been avoiding the kitchen. I know what meals are good for weight loss, and healthy nutrients, but I’m just scared to take the next step. The only difference in this new year’s resolution is that it’s not just a new year’s resolution. It’s a vision. A goal. It’s what I see for myself in 2026 as a non-negotiable. I have a 2 year old son, who is only going to get more and more energetic as he grows and I NEED to keep up with him. I’ve seen parents who just can’t keep up. Their kid wants to play with them and they are out of breathe after a few minutes. I don’t want that for Kingston. I almost feel like If I don’t accomplish this weight loss journey now I never will. Then I’ll become like my own dad complaining about weight and unknowingly putting body dysmorphia onto my kids…Damn. Well if no one ever reads my blogs at least I’m getting to process my own emotional damage. But if you are reading, and you are relating, you’re not alone. Even if you feel alone, now you know there’s someone out there going through the same thing… This is what The Foraged Elk Blog is for. For us to build community with those who can relate to us. I can relate to a lot but not all. Where I lack relation, someone else who can relate to you may be reading this blog too. I encourage you to be vulnerable in the comments, form connections and grow together my sweet ones. If you need to, top off your glass with a little more to drink I know that was a heavy message. We can let the Lord lighten the load for our next topic.
Memorizing Scripture
A lighter vision for this year is to memorize a new scripture for every month of the year. I will admit January I did not, so I’ll have to make it up or I can give myself some grace so long as I do it for the following months. However, it is February 7th and I already have my February scripture memorized, round of applause please. I want to memorize scripture so that in times of need I can quote the word of God. So it matters not about how quick you memorize the scripture but that you retain it and use it in your day to day life. Here is this months scripture:
As for me I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.
-Micah 7:7 ( Bible version??????)
whew. After that talk above I needed that verse. That is truly the beauty of God. I had this scripture picked out before I decided to touch on my ED. I knew I wanted to talk to you about memorizing scripture, I actually wrote the memorizing Scripture section before the hibernation section. So to write the hibernation section and then follow up with reading this verse felt like God’s planning. I said to not only memorize, but utilize a verse in your day to day life. God said practice what you preach ma’am, you’re worried about your weight, look to me for help. You’re feeling unmotivated to do what makes you happy because of depression, wait confidently for me to save you. I, God certainly hear you. Amen?!?! I mean you guys just witnessed God working through me. This is not a script, this is my real life. This is me typing on a computer to literally no one. I have zero traction through my blog but I sit here certain that someone will hear me so I type, and I type some more until eventually I’m processing my own trauma and who is there in the end? God. He is always there in the end. For me, and for you. He wants us to look to him for help. He wants to be our savior. It’s so easy to feel unloved and unheard in a loud, harsh world. But he listens and he loves. True connection starts with God. The Foraged Elk is just the runner up.
Preparing for the week
You are loved my sweet ones, you should be proud of yourselves. This week my job for you is to find a verse you can relate too, write it down and put it where you can see it every day. Try to memorize it and I promise there will be a moment this month where that exact verse will be the answer to your needs. Lets close out with a prayer.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for meeting us right where we are. In our growth and in our hibernation, in our discipline and in our struggles, You are present. For anyone reading this who feels tired, unseen, or unsure of their next step, I ask that You cover them with peace. Remind us that progress does not have to be loud, and healing does not have to be rushed. Help us trust You in the quiet seasons. Teach us to move with intention, to extend grace to ourselves, and to lean on You when the weight feels heavy. As we step into a new week, go before us. Order our steps, calm our minds, and soften our hearts. May we rest knowing You hear us, You see us, and You are working—even when we can’t yet see it.
Amen. 🤍
I’ll save you a seat at next week’s table!
With love, Destiny.
🤍 If You Need Support
This space holds heavy things. If reading this stirred anything difficult for you, please know that support is available, and reaching out is an act of strength— not weakness.
Immediate support (U.S.):
If you’re in crisis or need someone right now, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line.
Depression & mental health support:
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National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) — https://www.nami.org
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MentalHealth.gov — https://www.mentalhealth.gov
Eating disorder support:
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National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) — https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
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ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders) — https://anad.org
Body image & body dysmorphia support:
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Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation — https://bddfoundation.org
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International OCD Foundation (BDD resources) — https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/body-dysmorphic-disorder
If you’re outside the U.S., you can find international crisis resources here:
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
You don’t have to carry this alone. It’s okay to pause, step back, and ask for help.
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